The Ditzy Momma: August 2008

Friday, August 22, 2008

Moymoy the Ordertaker

Lest I forget, our Moymoy Palaboy weekender. Enjoy peepz!

Where's the Golden Boy's dad?

The ditzy momma is currently an angry momma. Okay, not really angry but pissed. Okay. Okay. I’m just being OA. Here’s the story.

Let’s go to the Beijing Olympics. Peepz who watched thoroughly as Michael Phelps made history in the world Olympics, you would have observed that every time he won, his mom was shown at the sidelines cheering and basking in the euphoria of his victory. Her two older sisters were also always there watching their li’l bro reaping gold after gold. But someone was missing in action. Do you know who?

Michael’s dad, Fred Phelps.

Where is he? We don’t really know. He could be home watching his son made history or he may be somewhere else doing some other stuff. But this we know, he has been missing a lot.

Michael’s parents divorced when he was 9 and his dad has since remarried. And just as any lame dad would do, he had made a little contact with his son. In the 2004 Olympics, Michael said that his dad didn’t even congratulate him when he made his first Olympic world record. How crude.

Well, it’s okay to divorce or get separated with your partner but you should never ever deprive your own flesh and blood their right to have a father.

But who’s reaping all the goods that come with the golds and the fame of Michael Phelps? Of course his mom, the rightful one. His dad? He reasons out in an interview that he does not want the limelight to veer away from Michael so he would not say anything, but in reality, I think he is just too ashamed of himself and to himself for being a useless biological father.

So there, the reason of my OA-ness today. Haha!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Sleeping Powers of the Preggers

What’s with pregnant women that when you eat their food, you seem to have taken a sleeping potion and your eyes would start drooping. Have you ever experienced this?

Well, I was not quite convinced of the “sleeping power” of the preggers as I believed it was only cooked up by our super-smart ancestors for us not to deprive the conceiving ladies of their food. But lo! Was I proven wrong!

One night, going home, rush hour and all, the MRT was again packed to the brim. When I finally got my train ride, I was pushed to stand near a very pregnant lady. Sitting in front of her is a man of maybe 50 years, but definitely not yet a senior citizen. The person sitting on the man’s right is a very abled lady, same with the two on his right. It was funny to see all four fell into slumber as they realized who was standing in front of them. You see, the sperminated lady made them all sleepy, proving the olden belief that pregnant women would cause you to sleep. But going back, the funny part did not last at it turned to annoyance as these big boned beings as healthy as a farm carabao could not even offer their seat to an almost laboring mom-to-be. I had the urge to offer the lady my place but hers was much much better compared to mine so I refrained.

Moral of the story, the old ones are always right. So peeps, remind me not to get pregnant again because I might send the whole nation to sleep or go on a killing spree to lessen the people who have lost the common good in them.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Another Moymoy Palaboy Weekender

haaayyy... another tiring week. BUT! as usual, we're gonna make our weekend extra special with this another special Moymoy Palaboy weekender. It's WANNABE for you!

You can watch this ditzy duo tonight at Bubble Gang. Happy weekend everyone and thanks for viewing my crazy blog, and for clicking my ads, too. Hugz~~

Thursday, August 14, 2008

meet the Beijing Olympics heartthrobs

He's mysterious. And by mysterious, I really mean mysterious. His identity is being strictly safeguarded but he nonetheless captured the hearts of many. He is...

otherwise known as the "Second Brother on the Right" in reference to his position from the torch. He was one of the guardians of the torch that made its round around the world. The mystery shrouding his identity is probably the reason why ladies the world over are swooning and proposing marriage to him.

And this one is undeniably THE star of the Beijing Olympics--MICHAEL PHELPS! Critics are saying that the swimming competition in the olympics is just a fight for the second best. While Phelps has dove and emerged from the water and taken his snack, other olympians have yet to reach the finish line.

This 23-year tanker had his first 6 olympic medals in the 2004 olympics. Yesterday, he has set a record for being the most decorated or having the most olympic gold medals of all time when he snatched his 11th gold. Phelps is also on a mission to dethrone fellow American Mark Spitz for having the most gold medal in one olympics. Spitz had 7. Now do the math.

And last and definitely not the least...MANNY PACQUIAO!

Who could cause such commotion as send NBA big stars Kobe Bryant and LeBron James out of their ranks to have their pictures taken with him than the PACMAN? Definitely, an Olympic heartthrob!

Friday, August 8, 2008

here's Marimar for a great weekend!

Here's the hilarious Moymoy Palaboy for you peepz...

How ditzy are they? Love them! More of this duo next time.

This is wishing you all a great weekend! Hugz~

Let the Games Begin--HERE!

This is where it will happen on 08-08-08 at 08:08:08 pm.

Ain't the Bird's Nest gorgeous?

The most expensive olympics--the Beijing Olympics, is happening exclusively here. It was designed by Swiss architects Herzog & Meuron who used the analogy of a bird's nest for the stadium. When it was presented, the Chinese jury was impressed perhaps because the bird's nest in China is very expensive and extremely healthy, served only during special occasions. And here it is now, served on the most special occasion in China for the century--the olympics.

Here are some tidbits about this beauty:
· Start of construction: Dec 2003
· Roof completion - Oct 2006
· Stadium completion - End of 2007
· Gross floor area - 258.000 square meters
· Seat capacity - 80.000 (11.000 temporary seats will be added after the 2008 Olympics.
· Structure - 36km of unwrapped steel length
· Height - 69,2m above pitch level

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Paris Hilton for President!

I didn't know Paris Hilton is running for the US Presidency. Here's her campaign video. Lovvveeett!

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

How ditzy is Paris? I lurve her! This video is actually a response she did for the campaign ad by Presidential aspirant John McCain thrusting opposing candidate Barack Obama to the levels of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears in being a "big celebrity" and unready to lead the United States as a nation.

Upon seeing the response by Paris, McCain's spokesperson said "Paris Hilton might not be as big a celebrity as Barack Obama, but she obviously has a better energy plan."

Watch McCain's campaign ad below.

Go Paris! Oh, have I told you I lurveee her?!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Murder at MRT, almost

I was doubling my steps, trying to get past those pairs of legs ahead of me. It’s always like this every day. But this day was different. The flurry of limbs plodding the sidewalk was exceptionally thick and it was sending bad signal to my already heavy head.

Alas! After what seemed like forever, I have reached the train station. But not to my relief for the crowd has doubled that even if someone drops a pin, it would not touch the floor. Okay, my patience was still holding on, keeping my killer instinct at bay (refer to previous post). Just 5 more trains and I would be off the congested platform to the even more packed, more like a gas chamber, train.

I could have easily survived except for the presence of this loathsome lady in front of me. Actually, she wasn’t even supposed to be in front of me but she squirmed her way there to secure a better spot for the entrance.

I understand that girls have to make sure their hair looks superb by running their fingers through it but this particular lady? Heavens be damned! She’d run her fingers through her hair then stop midway and flip! Splat! My face seemed to have just been slapped by a horse’s tail!

Okay. Deep breath. Count from one to ten. Patience. And there it went again!

Red faced. Deep breath. More patience. One… two… three… four… five… Splat! Straight on my face again!

I was already at the end of my rope. One more and I would burst and push the lady off the platform to the railway down below! And SPLAT! My hand has already tapped her shoulder faster than you could say “go” and told her on her face to stop flipping her ugly hair. My hands are preparing to push her after my verbal tirade but lo, the doors of the train opened up and swallowed the ugly hairy creature. Zut! Saved from my killer tendency!

My hands are still clean from bloodshed. As of now. Lucky lady.

Introducing Viv and Knox Jolie-Pitt!

I know you've been badly wanting to see them. Here are Knox Leon and Vivienne Micheline Jolie-Pitt, the latest addition to the beautiful Jolie-Pitt family in their first public sighting ever!

Aren't they angels?

These photos of the twins are worth a whopping US$14 million! But no worries. Talks are abuzz that the money all went to Angelina and Brad's charities. What a family!

Eva Mendez in the Flesh

She set the silver screen on fire with her performances in Ghost Rider with Nicholas Cage and We Own the Night with Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg.

Recently, an ad she did for Calvin Klein's Secret Obsession got banned in the US of A. Here's your chance to see THE commercial.

Is it too scandalous? Tell me, quick!

Do We Hear Wedding Bells for Lindsay Lohan?

When she started out in Hollywood, every girl dreamed to be like her. She was the ultimate "it" girl. She made being "mean" IN when she starred in Mean Girls. And didn't you wish to have a little one just like her when you saw her in Freaky Friday, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, and Herbie: Fully Loaded?

I know, I know. She also made the rounds running through every man's fantasies.

But Lindsay deserved to have an Oscar for topping all her previous performances with her real life drama. Lo[han] and behold! The MEAN GIRL unfolded before our very eyes!

lashing her hairless vaj for eveyone to see. Not just once, huh!

It went on for a while until our hard-partying gurl got busted for DUI. And not just once, too.

Do you still get the hots seeing her mugshot below?

To make a nasty story short, Lindsay gave in to rehab to avoid serving time behind the bars and next thing we knew, she already hooked up with a fellow recuperating addict, Riley Giles, snatching him from his fiancee!

And so we thought the drama has ended with her having her knight in shining armor. But no sweetie. She dumped him but not after some drama courtesy of the broken-hearted ex-fiance of Giles.

And now, the real juicy part. Our li'l nympho Lohan (ow, did I just say that?) got tired of men and got steady with DJ Samantha Ronson. Yes, there's no mistake there. It's not SAM but SAMANTHA.

Now, Hollywoodlandia is buzzing with talks of Lohan and Ronson walking down the aisle before the year ends.

Well, sometimes life is queered, I mean weird. What say you? *winks*

English 101

Girls and boys, your English lesson for today...

WARNING!

Extreme tear-jerker. Get your hankies ready.

Yo McDo!

This is where the world crisis is leading us--RECYCLING bay-beh!

McDonald's chains in the Philippines are going to contribute their used oil to fuel Makati City Police cars. Oh yes, a 60-40 used oil-diesel gas has already been proven, or so they say, effective and authorities are looking into using the same formula in all police cars in the country and planning on tapping resto businesses in following the lead of McDo.

This better work or we would end up with slooowwweeerrr poooliiice fooorce and more street crimes. Argh!

The Killer Instinct

One night, my consciousness was shattered by a text I received from my brother. The text seemed harmless. It just contained a question that you would have to answer before the answer would be sent to you.

It told of a woman whose mother died. During the funeral, she met a guy whom she fell in love with because he seemed so ideal. A few days later, she killed her sister. Now the question: why did she kill her sister?

Before I could bat an eyelash, I have already keyed in that she wanted to see the guy again that was why she killed her own sister. I said that the guy was some kind of an entity that could only be seen whenever someone dies, like an angel of death. I was quite confident with my answer thinking that everyone else would think the same way.

Before sending me the answer, my brother taunted me and said that I am a psycho.

Before I could ask why, my hand phone beeped once more and the answer was there.

I was correct.

The answer was she killed her sister because she wanted to see the guy again. For a while, I felt my head grow big but was shocked when I reached the end of the message. It said that if you got the right answer, you have the same psyche as a killer. It further stated that the test was conducted on serial killer convicts in the States and the results were really accurate.

OMG!

But as I said, I was convinced that everybody else had the same reasoning.

Wrong.

I asked him his answer, and he said because the guy was her sister’s beau.

So okay. One down. There were still others. I asked my friends the same question. But everybody I talked to had the same idea as my brother’s.

Oh…my… God!

I am psychotic?! I have the same mind as those who have taken so many lives to appease their wild musings?!

It made me doubt myself. I became afraid of myself. I started watching my moves. Maybe I could really kill. Maybe one day my psychotic alter-ego would just jump at a helpless victim, stabbing, shooting, hacking, and all other goriness you could think about.

I’m still in doubt of myself. I need to be careful. YOU need to be careful.

Modern Adam and Eve

Here's wishing you all a good week ahead ^_^ Enjoy!

Thanks to utubesapuet for the vid.

Slipping Beauties

Beauty queens are like our fairy tale princesses come alive. But what happens when the Sleeping Beauties turn to Slipping Beauties?

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

who has the fairest slip of them all?

Is it Miss Philippines Universe 1999 Miriam Quiambao?
She fell yet nearly won the crown.

Or is it Miss USA Universe 2007 Rachel Smith
whom the Mexicans booed yet finished fifth?

Or perhaps her predecessor, the elegant Miss U USA Crystle Stewart
who never wanted to be left behind?

While we have our eyes fixed on the Universe's falling stars,
The World conspired, brought down a Miss World (Unnur Birna) from Iceland.

But tell me mirror, who's slip is fair?
Perhaps it the lovely Jennifer (Hawkins) who won the hearts of many in 2004?

Tell me mirror and I'll be more than honored. *wink*